Technically Speaking
by TheWackedOne
Summary: Pure dialouge. Lily, James, Sirius and Remus are talking so, of course, drama and hilarity ensues! i wont be continuing this. feel free to though!
1. Not In Class? On the floor?

**A/N.im going to write a 1 shot now. At the current time, I don't know NEthing about the following story!**

**Doesn't that make u feel safe?**

**Enjoy!**

"That is it."

"But…u can't!"

"Yes, I can. And I will."

"…"

"Now feel free to leave. The door is open."

"Lily, the door is always open."

"!!"

"OW!! That hurt Lily-Flower!!"

"It was meant to Potter! Now GET OUT!"

"Miss Evans! I would never think YOU would shout in the library. But it is unacceptable. Leave."

"But Madame Pince, it was Pot-"

"NO excuses. Out Miss Evans!"

"…."

"Lily, why are you growling? It's scary….and it reminds me of Sirius…which is even scarier! AHHHHHH!!"

"James, why are you still following me?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Weeeeeellllll, you still haven't said yes."

"I NEVER WILL!"

"Then I will keep following you."

"Try!"

"I will. AND I will be VICTORIUS!! Mwa hahahahahahaahahahah!!"

"_Uh-huh._"

"……your lack of confidence in my plans is discomforting."

"It's not MEANT to be comforting."

"OH! YOU'VE WOUNDED ME!"

"GET A **LIFE** Potter!"

"_LILY! _How _are_ you? Kicking the life out of my best friend again are we?"

"YES!"

"…"

"Thank you Black."

"You're Welcome!"

"You know Sirius, I wouldn't HAVE to if he minded his own business."

"Now Lily, you know he can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Er…um. Never mind. I said nothing."

"BLACK!"

"Oh, really it's nothing."

"…."

"EEEEK! Bye Lily-kins!"

"I HATE YOU BLACK!!"

"…"

"Don't worry about me, I'm rather comfortable down here on the floor."

"Well if you're so comfortable, I'll leave you here."

"!"

"Toodles!"

"Lily! You can't! You wouldn't….would you!"

"I'M ALREADY DOWN THE HALL POTTER!!"

"WHAT? LILY COME BACK!!"

"……"

"OW!"

"Huh?"

"Hi"

"Oh….why are you on the floor Prongs?"

"Lily."

"Ah."

"AND she tied you up?"

"No, actually, that was Paddy."

"…."

"Yes, It's _very_ amusing at _my_ expense, now can you _PLEASE_ untie me?"

"Hmmmmm, you know…."

"yes…."

"Sirius IS you're best friend…."

"Yes?"

"And if he didn't see fit for you to be free to wreak havoc upon the Earth, I'm going to assume he knows best."

"REMUS! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD ONE!! GET BACK HERE!!"

"damn. And I _really_ thought he'd let me free….maybe if I just twist like…."

"AHHHH! LOOK OUT!!"

"Wha…."

"_JAMES?"_

"OW!"

"OW!"

"Potter, WHY did you crash into me?"

"Well, Lils, see, I was rolling down the stairs and,"

"Why were you rolling down the stairs again?"

"Because of the predicament YOU left me in!"

"I? That I left you in? Remus and Sirius left you as well, which reminds me…"

"What?"

"Ah-HAH! Black! Just WHAT did you mean?"

"EEEK! LILY! Ah…erm….uh…."

"Black. Spill."

"I can't"

"Why?"

"James put a hex on me that would occur on the event that I or anyone that I had, in some way, told this secret to, told you, or as such revealed said secret."

"…."

"What?"

"Well, that just sounds so……_rehearsed_."

"Yup! I know! I memorized it!"

"…..Oh, KAY….."

"…."

"James what are doing?"

"Nothing."

"Rubbing against my leg is NOT nothing, especially when said leg has a foot that can and will kick you."

"Oh. Good point. Sidling away now."

"Sirius, you have two seconds. Now."

"But, I…"

"**I** am the one who knows more spells, hexes, jinxes, charms and curses! And if you would not like to be at the receiving end of this wand, YOU. WILL. TELL."

"James, can I tell?"

"…sure Sirius, since your life is in Jeopardy."

"Well you see Lily-kins,"

"MISS EVANS! MR POTTER! MR BLACK! WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF CLASS? GET BACK! NOW! FIFTY POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR! NO! SEVENTY-FIVE! AS WELL AS DETENTION! MY OFFICE! AFTER DINNER! GO!"

"Going Proffesor!"

"Sorry ma'am"

"PROFFESOR! You CAN'T!"

"Oh YES I CAN JAMES POTTER! I have NEVER had to take away SEVENTY-FIVE points from MY OWN House before, but I CAN do it again! SCAT!"

"Yes_sir_."

"Potter, this is not you're first offense, and it probably wont be your last. After what happened this morning, you're _LUCKY_ I'm only taking twenty-five."

"Seventy-five."

"twenty-five each."

"…."

"Now go Potter before I take more!"

"Yes _SIR_! Going _SIR_!"

"….."

"……."

"Prongs, you are so dead!"

"why?"

"Lily."

"oh. Damn. She's never had points taken off before has she?

"No. or if she has, no one knows about it."

"I am so dead….You'll come to my funeral right?"

"'Course buddy. I'll stand by your side, filled with hope and filled with"

"Mr.s Potter and Black, thank you for coming to class, as late as it is. Miss Evans has already told us of you're helping that first year stuck in the stairs. And guiding him to class too! Oh, Take forty pointy each! Sit down now!"

**A/N I know that the top, I said it'd be a one-shot, but, should I continue it? **

**Review please!**

**Woot-ness!!**

**M out!**


	2. Of Squids, Cream Rolls and Why?

**Yeah, even tho all u evil pples didn't review (grrrr I hatechu!), ive decided to continue my story neways!!**

**YAY!!**

**Ok, a change: means that some time's passed. Like 5-10 min or w/e seems appropriate.**

"…And the reason that the appendix must be SLiced, and not Diced, is so that the spleen's powers do not interfere too much with that of the Hala-_pen_

_-_yo's. Oh, once my pupil, Miranda, she writes textbooks you knoe, anyway, she once…"

"_pssssst Evans!"_

"_Evans!"_

"Evans!"

"_what Potter?"_

"……_.will you go out with me?"_

"_no. shut-up I'm trying to concentrate."_

"Nice Prongs, ya almost had 'er."

"As much as I love you Pads, keep your nose out."

"ewwwwwww, you love me? Gross!!"

"#!"

"Mr. Potter! Detention!"

"Sorry sir."

"Now, as I was saying, the room was covered, and I mean covered in the essence…"

"I hate this class."

"Me and you both, mate."

"_will you two please stop talking!"_

"Evans, face forward, don't let Sluggy see you talking in class!"

"…."

"You're evil Pads."

"I know, I try."

"….and lastly, hmm, no homework, although for extra credit, write an 18 inch essay on the famous people I know! Off you go now!"

"no homework?"

"Yes Lily. No Homework."

"But, it's…"

"NO Lily. And I better not see you writing that extra credit."

"But Ahava…."

"NO!!"

"fine….."

"….."

"LILY-FLOWER! Going the same way are we?"

"No. I am going to Heaven when I die."

"oooo Prongsie, gunna let her get away with that?"

"'Course not."

"Potter. Move."

"Go out with me."

"Move."

"One date?"

"Now.

"Just once?"

"POTTER!!"

"James."

"What?"

"I have a first name ya know. You COULD use it."

"Potter is more informal, now move."

"No."

"Prongs…"

"Move, now."

"prongs….."

"I'm warning you…"

"james,"

"what?"

"HAH!"

"!"

"that."

"_THANK_you for moving Potter, Ido _so_ appreciate it."

"…."

"Nope, you cant talk."

"!?"

"No, you cant move either."

"..-.!--….?"

"And no, you cant cast a spell either. You know, if you'd just listened to me, or remembered that her arsenal of hexes is considerably larger than yours, you may not be like this."

"….."

"oh, Hey Moony."

"Don't tell me…..Lily."

"Yup!"

"And why…."

"A squid? Well, she has said she'd rather date the Giant Squid that Prongs…Hey! Mate! Your chances are lookin up!"

"Yeah right Pads, she would'nt date him in any form."

"What if he….no. you're right. That's true. Sorry mate."

"Wanna go to the pitch and practice a bit Moons?"

"Yeah, sure Padsy. Why not?"

"…!!..."

"This is just Tooldo's luck! To find a squid, right in the hall! And with the Kitchens making a Squid-Potato Pie!"

"Tooldo has found a Squid!"

"Where did you find one?"

"Right in the hall!"

"Strange place for a Student-Sir to leave a squid, but into the pot, Tooldo, we are very busy for dinner!"

"Yes SIR!"

"…!!"

"AHHHHHHHH!! HOT HOT HOT!!"

"Mr. Potter? Where did you come from?"

"Er…nowhere, Tooldo! Got any of those cream-things from last night?"

"Of course Sir. One moment!"

"Thanks!"

"Here you go! Bye-bye!"

"yeah…bye."

"HEY!"

"What? Marauders share food!"

"You LEFT ME to be almost cooked in kitchen!"

"Past is Past, besides, yo didn't get cooked, did you? So its done. NOW can I have one?

"No. you didn't know that_ scalding_ water would take off the hex. Therefor, I will share them with Moony!"

"But he left you too!"

"True. I'll share them with Peter!"

"He's at his Grandma's…in Australia."

"Oh. Damn."

"In that case….."

"NO!"

"You cant eat that many yourself!"

"I'lll share them with Lily!"

"Yeah, like she'll let you!"

"Just watch….."

"EWWWWWWWWWW!! FATTENING CREAM ROLLS!!"

"Someone PLEASE hit Jackie!"

"Ow!"

"What?"

"Oh Lily, someone left fattening cream rolls in our room! On YOUR bed!"

"I didn't……"

"How could you do this to me?"

"But,"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"'Hava, hit Jackie again."

"uh-uh. This is your problem."

"No it's not. I'm leaving. Bye!"

"Why Lily! Imagine you here!"

"This is the Gryffindor Common Room Potter. I'm studying. VE-RY. SIM-PLE."

"Well, yes, but you're in my chair."

"_Your_ chair."

"Yes, see I always sit in,"

"Shut up. Don't care. Leave or die."

"Ignoring someone is quite rude."

"Annoying someone is quite rude."

"True, but I am Supposed to be rude."

"Get over it."

"Lily."

"What?"

"Will you-"

"no."

"You didn't let me finish!"

"so? I knew what you'd ask."

"Which is…?"

" 'Will you go out with me?'"

"OF COURSE Lily! All you had to do was ask!!"

"Shut-up and die Potter."

"What's the matter?"

"She just got news from home."

"'HAVA! You're not supposed to tell him that!"

"oh? What news?"

"Her little brother…Mark…"

"uh-huh?"

"failed kindergarten."

"How do you fail Kindergarten? All you do is color, scribble, sleep and play."

"yes, well, apparently, he wouldn't nap at nap-time?"

"oh?"

"Yup! Lils used to do the same thing!"

"EVANS! You failed Kindergarten?!"

"Thanks Ahava."

"No prob."

"I'm leaving."

"I'm following you."

"No you're not."

"Stop me."

"Fine."

"……"

"You know, you really DID ask for it!"

"Gee, thanks. However, can you untie my legs? I'm beginning to lose my circulation."

"Wow. These ARE tight!"

"Yeah, I think Remus taught it to her. All those hours in the library….now I know what they're doing!"

"ya know Potter, for someone who just felt the effect of those hours, I'd think you would be so….chippy about it."

**LILY's Where-abouts**

"….stupid, stalker, self-obsessed…"

"Speaking of my buddy huh?"

"Black."

"Well, yes, that is my name, although I am the essence of pure white innocence, and the glow of heavenly approval."

"yeah….sure you are."

"So, where ya headed?"

"No-where."

"Oh goody-goody-gumdrops! Can I go "No-where" with you?"

"no."

"Why?"

"I'm working on something."

"What."

"None of your business!"

"Why?"

"Because it has nothing to do with you."

"Why?"

"Because you are neither me nor my friends."

"Why?"

"Because you're a Prat."

"Why?"

"Partially because you hang with James, partially because that's just how you are."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't grow up with u and don't know the contributing factors!"

"Why?"

"dammit Black if you say "Why" one more time I'll kill you."

"Wh-.."

"ARRRRRRGG!!"

**The end for now! if this is as bad as I think it seems, tell me. wilts.**

**REVIEW! (no one shud b able to perk up that quikly)**

**Yea, but review anyways!**

**(o, ps. If you care abt my disclaimer, read the end of my profile!)**

**M out! Review!!**


	3. Tutoring, Suckin it up and Safety

**A/N sry 4 not updating (if ne1 reads this) but w/e!**

"Hey Remus."

"Hi Lily."

"Tutor me?."

"Sure, whadd you need tutoring in?"

"Transfiguration."

"You know,"

"no."

"He really is better than me."

"no!"

"He'd be able to help you more…."

"Rem, I will NEVER stoop so low as to ask James Potter for help!"

"Ok then, stay here."

"Where're you going."

"….bathroom. be right back."

"Hey Moony."

"Prongs! Good, come on!"

"Where're we going?"

"I am arranging you to have an excuse to show your intelligent side to Lily. DON'T mess it up, she's gunna kill me as it is."

"How will you do this?"

"You will tutor Lily in Transfiguration."

"And she agreed to this?"

"Welllllll no. She asked me, but I know that this is the one thing you're better at than me, so you're going to tutor her instead."

"...ok."

"REMUS!!"

"Lily, he'll be able to help you more!"

"But-!"

"No! Now suck it up! James will help you."

"Don't worry Evans, I love you glaring at me."

"Shut up Potter."

"Lils, just don't forget that _I_ asked him for you."

"I still hate you."

"What are whispering about?"

"Nothing."

"Bye then!"

"REMUS!! You're gunna leave me with him!"

"yup! Bye-bye."

"………..so. let's get started."

"Just to make this clear: if you try to use this as an excuse to hit on me, I _will_ kill you."

"NO WAY! Moony would kill me first for messing up him idea!"

"True. Truce then?"

"Truce."

"Now, what's your problem?"

"They just never WORK!!"

"LILY!! DON'T CRY!!"

"Do NOT touch me Potter!"

"1, call me James, at least for tutoring. 2, we called Truce Lily, chill."

"Sorry….James."

"ok then!"

Insert Transfiguration chatter here. Time passes

"OH!!"

"Yes, exactly, its in the angle of the wrist being proportionate to the angle of the wand."

"thanks."

"don't worry. Always a pleasure."

"Meet me here tomorrow after lunch."

"sure."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"Jackie?"

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

"Perston?"

"oh, _JAMES!"_

"hi, umm, see you later. Bye!"

"_bye!"_

"HAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!"

"Lily?"

"She thinks that because we were shaking hands, we're together now! This will KILL your fan club!"

"yeah……but……."

"what?"

"They'll hurt you wont they?"

"James, Im hereby reminding you of my large knowledge of jinxes, curses, charms and the likes. They wont touch me."

"ok"

"So, how'd it go?"

"Er, bye Remus, see you later!"

"That good huh Prongs?"

"yup. That good."

**Following Lily into the G CR**

"HAVA!!"

"LILY!!"

"OMG!!"

"What happened??"

"James…tutor!!"

"you mean that the guy you like, namely James, is tutoring you?"

**Ok, ive had this written for like a month, and only now, while writing the "3****rd****" chap, I see that in my documents I have a 3****rd**** chapter done! Oh the luck! I have to re-write two pages! Whoopee!**


End file.
